Rush Hour


I wake up every morning like it’s the end of the world. Quick shower, a ginger drink (sometimes), decide in a few seconds what to wear, kiss the animal, grab my bags and off the door I go.

Reach the car, sometimes in my way I ask the guys at the cafeteria to make me 2 sandwiches with boiled egg (they always bring me a redbull that I’m forced to buy, I just can’t refuse it) and ride my few horses to work (sometimes literally squeezing between cars causing long honks and nice morning wishes) :)))

Then I grab my sandwiches and start munching. Virgin Radio is on and occasionally I sing or laugh at their jokes.

Then I reach to the first roundabout and squeeze in again. Then the second one (this one is easy).
Then the first traffic light. I’m munching on my second sandwich. I’m on my way to the second traffic light. I start searching for my make-up case. Brushes, make-up, lipstick, tweezers. Half of my clothes and make-up are in the car (damn cockroach, need a bigger one).

I don’t put a lot of make up. But it’s distracting. It’s a new law now custom made for fashionistas (or simply cat girls like me) regarding make-up and driving. A new fine added to my numerous radar ones (didn’t get this one though.. yet).

But I still do it. Such a rebel :)))

The thing is that recently I was plucking my eyebrows and slowly waiting for the cars to move (man is annoying) and BOOM, my small bug kisses my front neighbour’s spare wheel (you know suvs have the spare wheel at the back). I almost pluck my entire eyebrow :)))

A man comes out of the car. I’m reluctant at first. Should I go out too? Maybe he’ll throw some potatoes at me. I look at his face, he seems ok. I go out and he says “it’s fine, nothing happened”. I don’t even look at my car, I hop back inside and… nothing happened :))

I drive a while like a good, respectful driver but my mind is itching at the thought that I have one more eyebrow to pluck. Damn is persistent. I start again. I finish plucking my eyebrow and serenity is back. Now I will have a good day :)))

I use my eyeliner at the last traffic light. Then the blush in the parking. Ah and the high heels. By the way I am chasing cars inside the parking as I don’t have an access remote. My poor car hates me deeply as I fly it over the humps.

Then I rush to the elevator. OOOOOOOO there is quite a story regarding this elevator. Worst elevator ever. All the lifts up or all the lifts down. No middle way. Finally I get in and then level 28 awaits me. I rush out to go punch in. 3 minutes late!!! Daaamn! My plucking was useless. Didn’t bring the feng shui. All in vain!!!

Next step bathroom. A quick hairdo (if it can be named so). I look human enough. Work mode on!!!

By the way, I drive 1 hour to work. Long live Sharjah and the cheap rents. After work I go zumba, hip hop or ballet. Or I go to the apartments I manage. I waste the very last drop of energy. I drive back home singing and thinking about crazy things.

I reach home and I stick literally on the sofa, sometimes watching a movie. Sometimes I just have a glass of vodka and practice headstands. It depends. I take a shower and off to bed. It’s 12!!! Somebody kill me please!!!

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