A beautiful mind…


Here I stand lazy on the couch, having my third glass of wine… Something bothers me… Lack of sleep (having a sleeping disorder since I know myself) or some hormonal devilish changes… I don’t know… I love dots… I am watching “A beautiful mind” and I ca barely write…

The same question “why this mood?”

Everybody knows me as a happy and positive girl and still I am lying here depressed on this living room couch, unwilling to do something to get me out of this mood. Where did I reached?

Is it age? Is it sorrow? Unfulfilled dreams? Everybody has them. Everybody has something they want to change. Thanks God to this editor, I can see my spelling mistakes…

I am lost these days. Lost as in “out of this planet” lost…

Another sip of wine and an invisible pressure bends my back. Mom… I often think about her… Don’t know why. Miss her…

My brother… at least he’s happy, accomplished…

What I’m missing though? I am strong as a bull and I never failed to get up. Never!

Thanks God I have a job, a car, a mind…

Maybe my mind works against me. I remember those days of school when my only problem was to get up in the morning.

I loved school, didn’t miss a day. Then slowly, slowly I made my way through life…

What a life and what I’ve seen… Won’t believe the things I’ve seen, far beyond your wildest dreams… A song or so…

Dots…

I often ask myself if I am a good person… What is the meaning of a good person?

I did all the mistakes I needed to do… Learned or not, is still to see…

Caught in a rational vs. irrational battle. Can’t find my peace…

My policy is to go with the flow… To forgive and to love unconditionally and then I turn against all of my principles…

My life… such a disorder and yet such a meaningful thing. The things I’ve seen, the people I’ve met, the things I learned…

Dots…

I want a pet, I want to dance, I want to sing…I want to trust… Myself…

So insecure despite all of my strengths, all of my… what?

We all need to go low to get high. To see the depths so we can be mesmerised by the heights… Flowing away…

The ink waters of the ocean, the blue sky, the yellow sand… Life is a beach, I leave next to it…

Lost in my own thoughts… wanting something that I can get up and do myself but still pinned on the sofa… Dog tired, Master… The Green Mile…

I am happy in my own way… with small little things, with ashes and with crumbs… a self-destructive force… we all bound to it…

Seeing a great future that ceases to come… far away… one has to follow his dreams and everything will be just fine…

Falling in love with the mind… with the brain… She believes in him so much… Still watching a beautiful mind… How she dedicates herself to him… Who will do this in our times… We reject what is different…

I need some time… alone… in a beautiful place… This city got me empty…

Tomorrow… I’ll be just fine… Night is a healer… just a good night sleep…

Good night…

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