I am not a morning person! No… let me stress that out…
I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!!
Sweet God in Heaven I am not a morning person. All saints and angels and even the arch-angels know that.
And it affects me… and not only me… my ability to work, perform, talk, concentrate and socialize. There is a thin line to murder. I spit fire and I am cruel. Just like an ancient dragon awaken from the depths of hell I snore flames and gargle lava. Yeah is that bad.
It’s been a year and 2 months since I have to comply to a morning job. And it changed me. My patience is at its lowest as well as my social skills. I am a wreck and a mere shadow of what I am in the evening. Yeah, of what I am in the evening. There is a power in the afternoon. Is the time when I really become alive. The last few hours of work are my passage to being me. The fun, relaxed and crazy girl. I know the people I work with will strongly disagree.
First of all, the moment when my alarm clock starts the march, I feel that someone ran me over and then reversed. I immediately search the snooze button and bring an end to this infamous noise. I have 3 alarms. All of them see their way through snoozes.
I immediately fall back asleep and it feels like I’m in Olympus sleeping of the breast of Zeus himself. Then Zeus throws thunders after me and Olympus falls at the sound of my lovely alarm clock. Again I reach heroically to the snooze button and I teleport myself to rivers of ambrosia. I will trade my mom for one more hour of sleep (sorry mom, just a metaphor). Finally when is already late, I move my, not so godlike, ass to the bathroom and I just look at the creature in the mirror and want to petrify it on the spot.
Why didn’t I move 10 minutes earlier? Why, in the name of that “being late” deduction I take every month, I don’t make this effort? How can it be soooo hard to lift my corpse out of the bed?
And then there’s another thing. Next to me is sleeping a snoring beast. Arms wide open, taking over the bed and soundly dreaming and enjoying the wonderful world of Hypnos. And I want to curl next to him and stay there without thinking about what I need to wear or if I will be in time, or if I will go to jail for homicide.
Thanks God I don’t need to much time to prepare myself. Quick shower, an unfortunate choice of clothes (started to buy more dresses lately, less headache) and off the door I go.
Traffic is as depressing as I am and I just embellish my cursing vocabulary each day. And when I finally reach work I only pray (after so many blasphemies) that I am still in the grace period. If I am, then there’s less snakes on Medusa’s head. There are days when I am 1 damn freaking minute late, which means of course deduction from my not so cheerful salary (boss read this part here, only this) and then my day becomes a series of misfortunate events.
Coffee helps, but coffee doesn’t reimburse. But then what can I do, is my fault. Stop complaining, back to work. There are a few people at work to whom I’ve showed the God of War himself. Yes he is my alter ego and I quite fancy him.
An what I don’t get at all is what’s with all the morning people commenting on the afternoon people mood. You’re a morning person, I’m not. End of conversation, you don’t have to challenge my nerves (this goes out to my brother, a former afternooner).
My mom also is a morning person and she is being punished for that. Ahahahah I went to far… (echo) she went to far…
And now it comes the magic part: the afternoon. Oh the peace of the whole universe is restored. Birds are singing, children are smiling, pink is my new favorite color and I’m young again. The snakes on my head turned into marshmallows.
The afternoon brings back my creativity, my patience, my social skills, my worn/torn up nerves. I feel like living. I feel like going here and there, and see friends, and go out, have a drink. Then I want to compose, to invent, to discover new chemical reactions, to design gowns, to release a new song, to write a book and to challenge Jamie Oliver to a cooking competition. Oh my Mom what I DON’T feel like doing.
Usually in the evening/night I work out, clean, cook, read, learn, practice. Can’t do these things during the day. You won’t believe the time I start doing all of these.
Even in the weekend I wake up late and it takes me 2 more hours (if there aren’t any plans made) to actually wake up. I just enjoy a tea and a movie or just a lazy couch sitting. After that I gradually pump blood into my veins.
The last thing I want to do at night is… SLEEP. Thing that I deeply regret in the morning…
Where are my night owls? Come and help…