You want to make it easy, so you lie…

I wish there was an easier way when dealing with people. I wish we could tell what we feel without any hesitation. It will spare a lot of wasted time and a lot of heartbreak.

I wish we could see people as they are, without judging their habits, their beliefs and most important I wish we could see people without being influenced by the opinion of others.

Didn’t it happen to you? To meet somebody and think they’re awesome and then hear some gossip or a bad-intentioned person saying something bad about them in the attempt to change your attitude towards them? The worst part is that you believe what you hear and start judging, you start ignoring your first impression (which is the real one) and replace it with an induced one, coming from people who sometimes don’t even know who or what they’re talking about.

If you know somebody your way keep it like that. Don’t let anybody tell you different. In time you will know if they’re genuine or not. We’ve all done some things we’re not proud of, but this is not our essence. What defines us is what we do repeatedly. Our exceptions are there only to confirm our true nature. If I’m smiling most of the time and I frown from time to time, what am I? Happy or sad? Yeah, I might also be hiding behind my mask but that’s a different story.

But see, this is the problem. Some people will only notice that frown or when you’re angry or when you’re sad. They’ll ignore anything else and they’ll say that you are an angry person, or that you’re over-emotional. People like exceptions, they feed themselves on it. People love seeing the dark side of a story because it’s more exciting, it brings some adrenaline in their shallow lives. They will always remember your mistakes. They will say ” yeah, they are good but remember that time when they got it wrong?”. And they’ll be happy with that time. It means you are better than them but not the best yet.

I know extraordinary people being talked about on a daily basis. The stories you hear? It’s crazy! Jealous people invent the craziest shit. They can’t be themselves and they just start throwing dirt. This is us, people. Gossip and malice. We turn good people into monsters because that’s our vibe – negative, self-destructive, low.

The worst part is that other people believe it. Rarely you will find people who will not let themselves influenced. Rarely you will find somebody who will stand up for you. Because we are damn cowards. We act like we are saints and point fingers at others so we can hide our misery, our smallness. We do the most disgusting things when nobody’s watching and then we dare taking our heads out like snakes hissing for some prey.

We lose people like this. I fought more times for others than for myself. I fought for people that were generally perceived as being horrible. But I didn’t find them horrible so I didn’t care. These people ended up hurting me and when I was most entitled to think the same as everybody else, I found excuses for them. I kept them, even though it was hard, but I did it because once you see the good in somebody it’s hard to ignore it.

Then, again, people make mistakes. Show me somebody who doesn’t! And it’s not because they want to or they plan to. It just happens. We have to learn to open our eyes. People most of the times end up in some fucked up situations against their will. There are the exceptions if course. There are bad people too. But most of the people end up being screwed without even being aware of it. This doesn’t make them bad. If they do it again, with full responsibility, that makes them bad and even then, there’s a grey area. But “bad” is such a strong word. There are no completely bad people or I’m very naive.

I am a people’s person. I don’t know what else to be. I tried focusing on things, on something else but it’s people who are giving life a different meaning. It’s human interaction that makes everything so special. It’s the people you meet in this lifetime that leave a mark on you and your heart. Not money, not things.

Every single one of us has somebody special in their lives. Be it somebody they interact with still or just a memory, it’s alsmost most of the times a human being. We are interconnected and yet we choose to act like we don’t give a flying shit about anybody.

We try to act like we are self sufficient and we don’t need no damn help. Pride, vanity, they’re all there to make us believe we are some sort of superhumans. You know what we are? Nothing! Our flesh will be food for maggots one day and our memory will fade away in time. You know what we are? Frail! This is what we are. We are so sensitive and broken on the inside that nothing can ever fix us.

Why are we so proud? Because we are insecure. Why vanity? Because we crave recognition and freakin attention from everybody. Why we talk about others? Because most of the times we are missing something in our own lives.

I hear these things like “I can’t forgive” and I wonder who these people think they are? Gods? You can forgive if you stop your judging ass from criticizing everything and everybody. Forgivness is God’s job don’t act like you are a big deal. That’s why we’re bitter because we can’t forgive. We can’t forgive ourselves and we can’t forgive others. That’s why we are depressed and anxious. We think we’re the shit with our small daily dramas. We think we are something else when the only thing we should be is grateful and humble.

No I’m not preaching. Or yes I am! I can’t practice what I preach. But I try. I try to keep myself anchored to the ground. I forgive even though sometimes I don’t forget. Cliché anyways, there’s nothing that time can’t heal. I’ll forgive and forget everything if I stop being an uptight arse. I recommend you do the same.

I heard the craziest stories. I saw the craziest situations. I saw people acting and I thought to myself “oh, here goes the Oscar for the leading part”. We are so vain. We prefer losing people instead of trying to understand them.

Did you notice? We always hurt the people who are good to us. We hurt those who, we think, are weak. No. Those people who are good to us are the strong ones, because they see our flaws and still choose to stick around. Those people see what we don’t see in us and they forgive us for everything we ever did. We step on them because we are stupid. I can’t find another word. We choose to hurt them instead of explaining them that the problem is actually within ourselves. We let them think they are not good enough when they are actually better than us. We show them nothing because we are weak. We let them lose sleep at night thinking what they did so wrong to deserve the silence. Silence hurts. Silence is, most of the time, a lie. Truth has a voice and a way all the time. At the end of the day is shining bright.

I just don’t understand why we prefer losing people instead of talking to them about our concerns, about our fears. Even if their answer is not the one we want, we can open new galaxies when we speak honestly. Why does everything have to be so goddamn weird?

Where is the love people, because everything else, you all seem to know how it’s done.


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