I can see through you, I got X-ray

We make impressions about everybody around us. This is what we do. Inevitably.

Sometimes these impressions match everybody else’s. Basically, we all agree that some people are bad, good, funny, annoying etc. Sometimes there are exceptions. You really need a different approach to read some people. You need to enter their world to understand there’s always more to discover.

Once you see the good in somebody you can’t see them any other way. You can’t fake being good. You can fake anything else but not this. Or I’m very naive. We are all innocent in the beginning, our choices, later on, change us.

Sometimes people use defence mechanisms to hide their insecurities, or they simply think that being good means being weak. So they show everybody this tough, “I don’t give a shit” attitude thinking that this is the right way. Then they act surprised when people think poorly about them. What did you expect when you act like a douche most of the times.

And when somebody reaches to them, then everything changes. They like it, in the beginning, they finally throw the mask off. They can be themselves for a second. A breath of fresh air for a damn change. The only throwback is that like this they think they’re weak. They start to enjoy being themselves, they start to enjoy intimacy a bit too much so they have to restart the defence mechanism.

Sad. It’s sad because you get to know people in a way and it’s hard to fight for them when they’re convinced they should act their way in life. And then they always throw in your face the same immature words “nobody asked you to”. Childish.

Then you let them be. Because the change should come from them. But they are busy getting recognition from everybody else but you. Because you saw them weak. You felt them warm and humane and they’re ashamed of that. You saw them smiling and you saw them happy, carefree, you saw them looking at you differently and now they deny it, they pretend they forgot.

You move on even though you felt all that and it’s hard to have hard feelings after you had an insight. You are bothered when somebody says something bad about them, but in time you realise that there’s no other way. You have to let go.

But you can never turn against them. They make your heart warm when you look at them. They’re helpless and you know that.




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