That time when I refused censorship


Isn’t it cruel when you meet a person that you like and then they just vanish out of your life and you have to live without them?

It’s like:

“- Here, this is a human I like! I click with this ni**a! I am ready to do things for him.” And the next thing you know… Boom! They’re gone.

Why sh*t like this happens? Who does this? Is this entertainment for the higher power? Is there a bunch of sadistic screenwriters assigned to come up with twisted plots like this?

Are they up there looking at us and laugh like:

“- Did you read my next plot? See what i’m gonna do next! I’m gonna make this person fall for this person and then ruin everything!”

” – Hahahaha! We gon’ make this small flame burn into a huge fire and then put it off like it never happened.”

” – Yeah let’s freakin’ do this!”

Bloody teamwork!

And then they laugh and laugh and laugh looking at you all naive and innocent falling for that person. Motherf**kers!

They don’t even have a first aid crew to mend what their hellish little games cause.

Why do we meet these humans we like and then live a lifetime without them? Even worse, in some cases, trying to rekindle the flame it’s a bigger fiasco. It’s just gone. Why doesn’t it work from the first time? Or at least why doesn’t it consume itself in a decent way. Why it has to be so incomplete?

I don’t want to rekindle. I want to consume and move on. And hell yeah I have demands. I mean I want to do things with this human. Give me at least my moments, my memories, give me at least half of what I fantasize. I am the leading role. Why you feed me crumbles of freakin’ nothing. I didn’t even have time to enjoy. If it’s this easy to catch feelings why I can’t just burn them out? Closure.

I don’t want to look back with regret or anger. Why you turn good feelings into bad ones. Where’s the logic? But see, I know this trick and I never hated on someone I loved. This is the issue maybe, with me. Even if they did the worst. But at least something happened, at least I knew some people are just not good for me, but what in seventh hell is with the SILENCE!?!

This is beyond my power of understanding. Why silence? It’s the most sick and sadistic thing you can do to somebody. To leave them hanging, like the ground just opened under their feet.

It was just fine a moment ago, and now nothing. 0. Nada. Thoughts are erupting, burning worse than lava. And you ask yourself the most f**king tragic question of all times:

“What did I do wrong?”

Is it me or it was just a shape shifting, sorcerer motherf**ker I just met. Can life send me a text, a notification about it? Can I subscribe to my life updates? Let me know what just happened, please. An email will do.

F**k it, send a pigeon.

And then the best part: your mere mortal ass will never get an answer and if by the grace of God, will, it’s either too late or too meaningless because you already moved on like a f**kin decent adult human being that you are.

I’ve been silent too, a few times, but I did my best to break it, to fill it with some reasonable words. At least this. At least something. What kind of sorcery is complete silence?

You bunch of screenwriting punks, surprise me for once! You send me only case studies. Freudian sh*t going on in my yard.

And no it’s not gonna help saying:

“Oh this is life, it works this way, love hurts, it’s not meant to be, cliche cliche, bla bla”.

No, smug motherf**kers! It was life once or twice or whatever. At least change the damn pattern. So freakin’ bored of it. Can I get some creativity in here. Blow me away next time. Maybe somebody with less issues than Playboy magazine.

A quote about silence will fit like a glove right now as I decided recently to add a quote at the end of each post I write. You welcome! Everybody likes quotes 😛

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There you go. Or lovers. We will remember. Yes. We remember sh*t like this. Get it from Luther if not from me. I’d rather have a fight or any type of constructive conversation anytime, rather than leaving feelings and words rot in silence.

It’s all love and nocturnal writing shenanigans. Bye now!

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