Love in the time of corona


Ok so the title is and adaptation of the book “Love in the time of cholera” by one of my favourite writers Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I just remembered a funny story and made an adaptation with the situation we are facing today.

A few weeks back I was sleeping and through my weird dreams I hear music. At first is mixed with my dreams and then it becomes more and more a reality. I am half awake at some point and I have the feeling that there’s a party under my balcony (I live on the second floor and next to the building there are some villas). I really thought that some people wanted to continue the party (it was a Friday and it was after new year) so I said to myself that if I’d just close the balcony door (I keep it open for my cats) I’ll be just fine.

Done deal. I get up, I look at the time – 6 am – and then I go out on the balcony to see who’s the culprit. Nothing under the balcony, no movement, no lights on and yet the music is super loud and it has a lot of bass. Then I notice between the trees that on the street there’s a car and the music is coming from there. First thing that crossed my mind is what sound system he has on to produce that kind of quality. Then I get pissed. I hear voices and then I think that there are some drunken people who stopped their car in the middle of the road and they continue the party.

But don’t they see the buildings around? Don’t they think that people are disturbed? Anyway beyond my understanding why they’re there.

Music starts to fade a bit and I’m like “Yeah” I’ll go back to bed. I close the balcony door and jump back in the bed. It’s still warm and inviting. I’m almost back on track and then boom, the music is louder.

Wtf! I mean it’s freakin 6 am! Go home douchebags! I go out on the balcony again and look towards the street to see what’s happening, who’s there. I want to check if screaming at them makes a difference. Probably not, the music is too loud. I have some apples; maybe I’ll throw them. What If I break something, I don’t want to get in trouble.

Anyway, I close the door again and try to sleep but now I’m angry and I can’t sleep. I’m thinking I should call the police but I can’t do this to fellow party people. Maybe if I were younger I would do the same.

Anyway I’m tired, I finished work very late the previous night and reached around 1 from my shift. And it was Friday! I was hoping I’ll sleep late and here I am at 6 in the morning forced to listen to music.

Next thing I know, I put on my fluffy robe on top of my pajamas and I’m out the door. I didn’t look in the mirror when I left and to my surprise I looked like a damn raccoon when I saw myself in the elevator mirror. I was too tired to remove my make up and now all my mascara was under my eyes. I looked like that chick from The Grudge. Anyway, this didn’t stop me and I continued my journey downstairs without actually having anything planned. I reach the ground floor and find the security and to my surprise the sound can’t be heard from here. Hmmm.

I tell him in one breath that there’s somebody playing loud music outside and he’s like “Where” and quickly rushes outside. I wait. He comes back and says that there’s nothing he can do because they’re on the main road. It’s public space. I obviously get angrier and decide I should go outside myself and sort things out. With my raccoon eyes.

Said and done. I walk towards the sound and there it is, a yellow Lamborghini only. No other cars. Next to the supercar there’s a dickhead who tries to be all romantic for one chick. And he hugs her and she giggles and tries to escape his hug playfully. And then he’s catching her back and she giggles some more.

In disbelief my brain goes like “you fucktards are high, not drunk and it’s a very dumb thing to do with a Lamborghini in JVC”.

I stop next to the car and they don’t even notice. They are drunk in love. Beyoncé will be proud. Goddamn. I say, “Excuse me!” Nothing, they are nose to nose like some freakin eskimos. I say, “Excuse me!” again and my voice is loud already and I think I made it clear. He turns and he freezes. She giggles like a drunken hen. They’re both fairly unattractive but I guess his lambo makes him very attractive to the little hen.

Anyway I asked them politely what the fuck they’re doing on the street waking up the whole neighborhood. Then I throw in the fact that I have a job like a poor and ordinary persona that I am and tell them that I would like to continue my miserable existence in peace and that my daddy, may his name not be mentioned, never spoiled me with riches and supercars.

They are frozen. None of them says a word. I pretend I get the number of the car and I turn and leave. As I turn I see the security, which probably saw the entire scene coming towards them like a rooster and telling them the party is over. Sorry friend your entry is very late. I did the job for you. Anyway, I go back to my crib and I think about what just happened and how funny the whole thing was.

I mean the guy tried hard, he stopped his lambo in the middle of the street and played some music trying to impress that girl because he probably didn’t have any place to take her or he was really in love, or really high, or both.

Anyway I give it to them that they managed to keep the romance alive in a difficult time like 2020 with all the war, the viruses and the economical crash. Good for you guys that you believe in love when clearly the apocalypse is coming. You guys are my heroes now and I’m sorry I ruined your lovey dovey scenario but I really need to sleep.

I wonder how funny is their story when they tell it to their friends…

Anyway, it’s all love and late night writing shenanigans. Peace!

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