Let’s debate

I read an article a while ago and I badly wanted to coment on it.

You can read it here.

The article starts with a beautiful “By no means am I being sexist or offending women” which let’s be honest, actually means that you have something to say that women won’t like. From here, the logical deduction that a dude wrote the piece. And there is no name of this dude who writes on a “sensational” type of site “UAE viral”.

Why no cojones, bro? Just say your name at the end of the article like a proper journalist. Be responsible of what you write. Assume your opinions. This is the way it should be.

Moving on, this is the first thing I noticed about this article, the anonymous non-sexist, non-misogynistic writer.

“Anyone who has traveled around will realize that some, if not most, women in the UAE start to get a bigger ego and act more stuck up with guys compared to women living in other countries. I would advise the women reading this to take this article with a grain of salt before bombarding the comment section.”

Even though I tend to partially agree with him in the first part of the paragraph, what punches my temper is his advice on how to read the article and the all knowing attitude. My friend, again, you obviously wrote this article to stir shit up. Don’t go all shy now! And we all now how Internet works: more clicks, more comments, more likes means more business and more money. You’re on a website that promotes viral things.

I said I would partially agree with the first part of the paragraph. I live here for almost seven years. For some it may seem a lot, for some I may seem a newbie. But given the fact that this country is 46 years old, I guess it’s quite enough to form an opinion.

So, as a woman, I can tell you that this “princessy” endemic among women is quite a trend. It’s true that men here are a bit too oriented to the material side of this subject and they have this certainty that money buys everything, so to be sure that they won’t miss, they spoil the women they want by their side. Or for the night!

This is the true ego. The fear of rejection. Try taking her for a walk and do your best to make her go home with you at the end of the night. Ah, yeah, money work faster and don’t require brain cells. Yey, the recipe to success.

And I think it’s wrong. If a woman will expect only this from a man, if the only purpose is to get his money, that’s fucked up.

Now, you tell me. If women will be either showered with presents or approached by men in the club or whistled at by the beach, or followed in the mall, what will they become? A bit stuck up, wouldn’t they? See the order. Who does all that? A desperate bunch of men who think we’ll stop and declare them endless love when they come up with these childish rituals of mating. And now I ask you: If a woman looks at you and smiles and tries to give you attention, what would you become? A bit stuck up, wouldn’t you?

In a country that’s made of almost 80% minorities, where you can find almost all nationalities and all type of customs, where we all try to find a way to co-exist by being politically correct and to accept everything and everybody as it is, I think sometimes there’s a clash when it comes to certain situations.

“Emirati women have a naturally high ego due to the fact that they are the superior ‘local’ race. Expat men have little to no chance of comfortably flirting with an Emirati woman. Be a little bit too pushy and you just may end up in jail. Even the government doesn’t welcome the approach, by not even allowing UAE women’s children to gain automatic citizenship. Only Emirati men will have the courage, financial capability and favor with the law to confidently approach Emirati women.”

This is again something related to customs and to the local boundaries of a country. If other countries are welcoming the mix of “locals” with other nationalities it’s again a matter of choice. We are talking here about a muslim country that was built out of sand and it became one of the most progressive places in the world.

It’s a place of freedom for all the expats to live as they wish. I did not encounter any difficulty in living here, more than any other place. And I’m talking from the experience of other 3 countries. We all have everything we need, and it’s so much to say about this topic that I’ll probably have to write another article.

My main idea is that if they don’t make our life harder in this country, why won’t we comply with their rules and traditions. Are we conquerors? Are we here to burn the land and take the women? Is it your main issue the inapproachability of Emirati women? It bothers you that in an Arabic country you can’t flirt with the local women?

“As for expat women, their boosted ego comes from the fact that their value is several multiples more than it would be living back in their home countries. The reason for this is a simple supply/demand calculation. As per official statistics, the UAE population has a shocking percentage of 69% men. Which means for every 3 women there are 7 men. This is only the general statistic. To be even more specific, in the age range of 25-54, for every 3 women there are 10 men! This ratio is the worst in the world, second only to Qatar.”

This paragraph might be the one that pissed me off the most. Read the first sentence. How do you know my value back home? How do you calculate the value of a woman back home and abroad? Please share with me. And how do you know how valuable do you think I am?

And what is that “their value is several multiplies more”? Might want to revise that.

And the second sentence. That is offensive. Are we merchandise? Are we supply. Man, what did you turn this into? See this is the main problem with men, we are seen as supply. We are not stuck up, we are considered merchandise and not all of us is.

Then we have some statistics to help out with the merchandise. Great! A very researched article. Well done! (sarcastic in case you didn’t notice)

This extremely imbalanced ratio create a higher demand for women. This results in average or below-average women being treated like queens. Women coming from abroad will get a sudden shock where they realize that as soon as they landed there are men battling for their attention. This immediately boosts the woman’s ego, and sometimes (if not most of the times) leads her to stick her nose in the air and being stuck up.”

This paragraph is a pure example of poor journalism. The tabloid kind of journalism, Gossip one. I can’t even dissect this. First of all, skipping the grammar part, we are still merchandise and that is nerve-wrecking and secondly: who are you, man? How do you know what we realize and what boosts our ego? This paragraph does not even deserve commentaries. I will pretend I didn’t read it.

“In the UAE, men are aggressively competing to please women, showering them with gifts and expensive dates, when they can get much better women with less effort from another country.  This makes women in the UAE expect to be treated better and set the standard very high.”

Much better women. Bro what are you doing here? You could have made it easier for yourself, but here you are digging your grave, instead. First of all this is offensive for Emirati women. They will read this and they’ll be like “you piece of shit do you think we’re not good enough?”.

Are you arab, by any chance? Are you local? Are you in your twenties? Are you frustrated? Some websites are banned here, it’s true, but you can use your imagination and do something about these frustrations.

What’s the universal standard for a woman? For all women? Please enlighten us.

Instead of writing about particular section of this “merchandise” that you present here, you chose to generalize everything and everybody. If I wanted to agree with you at the beginning of this “article”, because to be honest, it is true that this phenomenon is maybe more accentuated than other countries, I can’t. Because this is only a part of the story. There are people here in this country who are looking for something else, who are paying their own rent and that doesn’t make them stupid or stuck up. They just go for the guys they like not for the ones who only want to finance in “merchandise”.

And you should be familiar by now with the term “gold digger”. I guarantee that every society has it, knows it and debates it. I assure you that things are no different if we talk about them. But you chose to generalize everything and everybody. Well done!

“Unfortunately, in the UAE, a materialistic effort is often mistaken for a “better treatment”, leaving men with bad financials ‘forever lonely’.”

This is my favourite sentence and I consider it a triumphant ending to this example of journalism. If the first part may be true, the second part makes me cry. Oh, such a pity we didn’t get you from the beginning. Actually this was the issue. We pity here men with bad financials. Well, in your world of “Women are all gold diggers” you might be right, but I can show you some guys with bad financials that will put Casanova to shame. And they have something that it’s called CHARISMA and will even put a billionaire back in its place.

Something that you probably lack.

CONCLUSION: If you want to do this, be responsible. If you want to generalize everything and everybody, then bring more to the table. This is just poorly written. And even though you didn’t mean to be sexist or misogynistic, in the end you were. And my response is of course on the same note, or maybe a bit more because I’m a woman and I can do it better. You asked for it.

You also didn’t have the courage to sign the article, which makes you weak, again. You wanted to write something viral and to bring a debate in the comments. This is my debate. As you took the right to write it I took the right to answer.

P.S: If you get paid for this, I want in.

Message me here if you want to talk. I also feel that I’ll have more topics to write on from this site. Keep it coming!

It’s all love and late night debates. Peace!

Tabloid inspired post

I am tired. I am tired of not being able to do what I want to. I am tired of shattered dreams, of insufficiency, of window shopping and so on. The worst part is that you can get all that with money. Money makes this world go round. And I’m not a kid but I still consider it so unfair.

There’s so much potential in some people who just don’t have the means. And some people, plain flat and useless are drowning in money. I mean we see everyday, on TV, on social media, the “influencers” of today. I mean, man, take the Kardashians. What’s their talent? Leaked porn videos. Inherited money? Their fake asses? And why is one of them one of the most influential people today? Why do we promote nudity and pornography when it comes to her and when it comes to simple people we are hypocrits. We can all agree that sex sells but then we are against it also. Where’s the sense here?

Why do I hear people say “Good for her, she was smart!”. What did she do, first of all? Lay on her belly? Name something notable for the good of mankind that she accomplished in her life? And don’t start with charity and donations. If you ask me this should be, by default, something rich people should do. Share the damn wealth, you have enough, help those in need if you can. It’s called decency. It’s called caring for your keen, help chidren, help people with disabilities. Help those who can’t help themselves.

The worst part is that the richer they get, the more they want. More and more money and fame, until they what? Where is the limit to this?

And children today take that as influence. We grew up having role models our parents, our grandparents, or brothers and sisters. We had different dreams. We wanted to be decent when we grow up. TV presenters, ballerinas, doctors, astronauts, etc. Nowdays they want to be famous by any means even if this usually ends with sacrificing their innocence.

They want to be people with no values, and escalate the levels of society without any dignity. The first lady of United States has a naked pictorial and she married the man she probably hates from the depth of her heart, for money and fame. But everything has a price.

Some of the people that most contributed to the good of humanity were humble and private. Even though they had so much to show and to share, their wisdom and common sense kept them on the ground, kept them anchored to reality with no desire to be worshiped. And the best part is that they deserved.

That’s the pattern nowdays, attention seekeing, over the night achieved fame. And I don’t mind when somebody who really deserves it, gets it. It’s not about that. I support and I can be happy for people who make it. But they need to inspire the others with something positive. Not sex tapes and scandals.

Want a sex tape, keep it for you. Watch it from time to time if you like, but to make something so private a public topic it’s a bit too much. Do whatever you want with your private life, who am I to judge. We all have our own sins and guilty pleasures.

Shouldn’t we be ashamed to have as a base, as a starting point, a sex tape? Aren’t morals working this way? I am not a conservative person. At all. My mind can open up to anything, anything. But I can’t take these fake, sex fueled “celebrities” and the huge influence they have on society. You should have sex because you want it, because you feel like it, because you thought about it, etc and it should remain there in your bedroom, or whateve place you choose. Does that make me conservative? So be it, then.

From what I know, and I happen to know quite well, public sex is an offence but then again we have no problem in making some boring porn the start-up of fame. Hypocrites man, hypocrites.

Our childen and their future children are watching this! They want to become this! What in the name of God! I have no children but if I will one day have and they’ll thell me when they’ll grow up that they want to be like the people I mentioned before, I will feel that I failed as a parent.

I wouldn’t want them to be like me, even. Not that I’m bad but I have my mistakes and my vices. And I know myself enough to admit that I’m not a role model. But I can work on myself and what I’m feeding to my children’s minds. I’ll want them to be decent human beings with common sense and respect for themselves. And it’s normal. Everybody should want that.

But I see more and more parents saying “go for it, take the money”, “do whatever it takes to reach there”, “as long as if benefits you, do it”. Stop it, please! You are encouranging your children, that you so hardly raised, to be cheap people, to sell themselves. You teach them how to take shortcuts and you protect them, until they will be faced with a tragedy and they won’t have a clue on how to hande it. They will be used of having everything, spoiled little brats, who never worked a day in their lives for something that they want. They will be used to just take.

Yeah, provide for your children, I strongly agree, but it’s a very fine line for when it’s too much. Don’t make them believe world is easy and they can have everything they ever want, because when they don’t, they will be so hartbroken, and so lost because you created this bubble around them.

Life is not about paparazzi chasing you, or your face on media every single day. A lot of celebrities suffer of depressions, drug abuse and unhappy marriages because they just don’t know how to handle fame. They are lost in a vertigo of temptations and vices and rarely come out of it.

Let’s be role models for our generations. Let’s make them want to be less like these superficial people and more like themselves. Let’s encourage their talents and abilities, rather than pushing them to a life of lies.

I don’t know why I am preaching so much tonight, my initial idea for this post was so different.

Anyway, it’s all love, and late night writing shenanigans. Peace!

Let’s not call it a book review

See, I don’t really read motivational books. Or raising self-esteem books. Or personality books. Self-help, money making, career ascending and so on. Not because I’m too good for that, but because I don’t believe in an international recipe for… basically anything.

And the second thing I don’t like it’s the tone of these books. It sounds like it’s enlightened and shit. And I don’t think it’s the case.

First of all, nobody found the key to a perfect life, or succes or to becoming a money making machine  by reading a motivational book. But through hard word and perseverence and so on. We all know the drill.

Recently, I read a book about how many fucks to give, basically. The subtle art of giving them. Ok, I guess we all know by now the name of the book.

The subtle art of not giving a f*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living the Good Life by Mark Manson. Why I bought it? Because it’s orange as fuck and it has a catchy title. Perfect marketing right there. And also because I was interested on learning how to give less fucks. In time I taught myself how to reduce the amount of fucks I give, but then again, you know, it doesn’t kill to know more, to learn more.

I started reading it. Catchy intro, basically something you need to hear. A few good examples also. Some do’s and don’ts. Good lecture. For a while. See, this is what I don’t enjoy when it comes to a book, no matter what genre. The stalling. It starts so good and then it stalls.

Examples become a bit irrelevant, words become a bit too twisted and boom there you are. You are about to not give a fuck about this book. And to be honest the book is a bit too american-ish for my taste.

Anyway, I am not here to claim that I’m better at anything, I’m just sharing some impressions. If I would write a book of this keen I will just base it solely on my experience and make it clear that it’s my personal shit and I learned so and so from it. If other people relate to it, even better. If they learn something, great! But I don’t expect everybody to feel the same about it. Anyway, I’m drifting away.

That’s why these books seem a little herd-ish. I mean, we should be able to learn how to help/motivate/improve ourselves by experiencing practical things. Theory works for a while it’s true, at least to give us an impulse, but practice is the base of everything.

I think less ignorance will also help a lot. And to be honest, no, it’s not trendy to be a sheep. Be you. Be your own damn self. Some things might work for you or they might not. You may feel strong today and weak as fuck tomorrow. It’s ok. Don’t stress about it. Move on. I think we all have the ability to give less fucks if we put our mind into it.

And so, I resumed the book. Basically this is the idea but it’s more elaborated in term of what and when to give a shining fuck. It’s a good read, I’m not trying here to undermine it. I just share what I felt.

I am not a hater or anything, I recommend self-improvment and especially reading. Not matter if it’s motivational books or other kind. Reading is always good. It stimulates, it keeps you alert, it keeps you open minded.

I admit I read some really cheesy and tearful motivational books at some point in my life. They helped, to be honest. They made me feel better, I admit, because they were about people drowning in more shit than I did, or about how kindness can change somebody’s life. Ok ok, it was just one book, I admit: “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, another international best seller. I can’t review it. I will look like a villain.

So, yeah, I’m just here, behind my screen, a blogger/writer wannabe, talking about a bestseller. But then again, it’s my cybercorner.

It’s all love and daytime smartass writing shenanigans. Peace!